i want to be clean and be able to get them proper housing when court says im ready. Hold on. Go to bed on time, eat regularly. I am going thru some very traumatic events. Write a letter to your lost child. Like with any separation, the pain is extreme for a long time but it eventually subsides and you can go on living, and create a good future for yourself. My kids were born healthy cps was listening to the lie of my X In-Laws. I have tried numerous times to kill myself and am trying tonight. Cps had allowed us six great visits worth the kids and the kids run up to me and their step mom with huge smiles and they keep asking when they can come back to my place.. Cps is keeping the kids away for no reason. Nothing is fixed. XOX. Emotional Aspects of Grief. I would go so far as to use your grandsons photo. No matter how much misery I must endure to ensure it, this will never be my daughters story. Im not sure. I feel like dying inside. This is my horrifying life right now, you wrote this last year, what happened? When losing an adult child, the grief can be compounded by guilt, by the loss of a friend, by the contemplation of our own mortality, and by the reality that the end of life is perceived as progressively less tragic the older a person gets. The psychological effects of child custody battles surface in a number of other waysfrom acting out to trouble sleeping to child custody depressionand do vary based on the age and maturity of the child. You will always be their mother. If you do this, keep your appointments for evaluations as anti-depressants are known to sometimes make the depression worse rather than better. The lawyer the judge and the caseworker and da all kept evidence from me and lied to me. Dont give into the lies and dont settle for dog vomit they just handed you. End of Life Mourning the Death of a Spouse When your spouse dies, your world changes. It is temporary!! Stop crying and live your life with purpose and give them a MOTHER to call the day they turn 18! its harder then i thought. My alienating ex husband has his dreams come true and I just wait for the day god will no longer reject me. Read this site and others like it and prepare for court with documentary evidence and legal documents. I started taking SAMe, (you can buy it at Walmart, vitamin section) Started working again. Think about what your children would want you to be doing with this time in your life when theyre not with you. They thought me safe and good enough to care for as respite for over 2 years and now Im not good enough to even talk to. Please pray for me and my babies as I will all of you. I was told to just do what is asked of me by working and completing the services asked of me. they removed them and put in foster care?i had to call my kids and in less then hr prepare them what was to happen. ?? I think it has made it harder for my kids. But i do know that i want something done about my children having these strange marks all the time. The county gets social security fund money just for having you go to their services like psychological testing, counseling, parenting classes, etc so it is a financial benefit to them to have you doing these things, thinking all along that you might get the child back, even if they truly never intend to allow that to happen. I dont know what else to do. I will never sign that paper agreeing that the child I carried inside me for 9 months will never again call me mom. Anger expressed in a healthy way is my defense mechanism to keep going on with life. We were an hour from being discharged and they stole him. Even if (God forbid) you never see your children again, they may meet someone who knows you, or somehow find out information about what kind of person you are. Hi,my name is tammy, my kids was taken from me, when I was treated myself depression, I left my kids with my mother an cps came in an took my kids away cus cps saying I have mental illness an I dont, I talk to doctors an counselor, I told them I live on my owned apartment two bedroom an everything is new in home, cps never once out of the Whole year check my places to say I was stable, cps work against me an lie about me, that im on drugs, cps check me for drugs I came out clean,on june 4th I came out dirty once for opiate I have prescription for vicodin for my illness in my vaginal infection,cps say I have addiction an I dont they send to some programs at last min before my service was terminated, on Sept,19,2013, now cps is trying to Terminate my perinatal rights on March 28,2014 in the mean I did came up pregnant just had a boy inon December 9th 2013, how ever cps gave Temporary Custody to the baby father hes illegal, he has no paper he live in basement with my baby, he dose drugs marijuana, he works, an everything, cps gave my baby to baby father nolvin his name, he begged me to Help him with my baby kuz he didnot know what to do, baby father live in Pittsburgh, me I live in Modesto baby father pay for my Ticket send threw western union every weekend, I show the baby father how to parents are baby, but tbaby father wouldnt listen to me, all he wanna do is drink beer get drunk an high, now mine U of cps feel that father no need in service but Only the mother wich they provide me service an not the father,father says he needed my Help cus he told me he cant stand the baby cry,cus my baby keep crying alot,this month feb,25 [emailprotected] is court hearing,if you any concerns contact me (925)23eight-5nine32 my name tammy thank you. I have a (what i want to call) a strong relationship with God, and I MUST have faith that God will reunite us one day!! This poem has been the second hardest thing that I have ever done. Ive made cupcakes for charity. Thank you! . Make lifestyle changes to help manage stress. I had to sit on the stand and name each and every date off my life was under the microscope. Feelings of irritability, frustration or restlessness. Lets form a national and regional company whose only mission is to help parents fight CPS and win and change laws. I am in arizona, over a month ago my six children were taken by cps. They jerked a child away so fast and so insensitively and they didnt even care. Usually, divorce cases tend to drag on and often cause a lot of emotional distress and stress on the people involved. Im now 49 they are 29 and 30. If you are involved in a Washington State child custody case and worry that your history of depression may hurt your chances of gaining custody of your children, it is critical to speak with a Seattle child custody attorney about your case. Did they ever try to terminate your rights? I am 2 days and my son will be put up for adoption. Jesus Christ came to heal broken hearts. Your therapist can also help you assimilate with these changes and engage with your life beyond the divorce and custody arrangements in ways that are healthy. From now on NEVER miss a court hearing or visitation opportunity as that would be held against you. A study that has looked into the accounts of fathers who have been separated from their children has a higher likelihood that they will developed a dependency of substance use- especially with alcohol, have conflicts with this ex-partner, which will add to the various stressors that he might find hard to cope with leading to mental health issues. Recognize these triggers and prepare to handle the grief as needed. Lexi Behrndt. I still am supervised today when I see my babies. There are many issues surrounding divorce and separation that can impact you and your child to great extents. Create a ritual in your sibling's memory. I lost my kids about a year ago & it was due to me being addicted to drugs. I know who wins, and I know which side I am on. My family is reporting my activity to my CPS worker even though I dont want them to do this. Words of wisdom from a grandmothers broken and healing heart! I have not, and will not stand down from these bullies, though. Just remember to keep moving, keep your heart pumping, and know that it will have a positive effect on your mood. Your email address will not be published. So I found a residential treatment facility which allows mothers to have their children there with them. We live in a sinful world where we are warned to take heed but sometimes no matter how good we try to be, evil overtakes us. Whether it is serving food at a charity kitchen, or helping adults learn to read and write in your librarys literacy program theres something you can volunteer to do. My case is horrific. Sbe aaid to her sister HOW wonderful the caseworker is amd I knew they got to her. It is his will what will be done. . As a matter of fact was pretty messed up when i had to give her my daughter but anyways. This has hurt me beyond the death on any relative or friend I have ever had to deal with. designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com. If you have the time, lobby them and let them know youre willing to help create new laws to keep non-abusive, battered parents with their children in a safe place. Also, the psychologist will write out some useful recommendations picked up individually for each patient. Hello Ashley, If they come in and take the kids, just give em up and move on. The better looking & mannered our children are the more unlikely to never get them back as they can make more money as well as adopt them out faster. I just got a car and am now working. Oct 29, 2014, 04:19 PM EDT | Updated Mar 11, 2016. You can get them on Ebay. My heart is totally broken. I am a great mom. I was lucky and had a great guy who told me like it was and didnt sugar coat anything. Im thankful for the good and the bad. You can trust a lawyer to advocate on your behalf and seek the best possible outcome. They lied. sx children. The Bible says for now we see through a glass darkly. 1 Corinthians 13:12. Let them be honest. Are able to sympathize with your situation, Have experience handling similar cases and situations, and. Amber, A few things have changed, but no one would dare tell me that it was because of my letters. The Lord blessed me with his comfort He helps me every day to cope with this loss. You have to do the work and show them (DHS) that you are stable and to be trusted by their standards. Bullying and spending a lot of time using social media may be associated with depression. Please write to me, I also feel so alone in all this , I have no one to talk to about it and nobody understands why i am always so sad!! People need to stick together and expose this corruption. .. so here i stand barely alive, barely breathing broken hearted all beat up bruised scared bitter old tired and may i mention so dangerously misunderstood. My son is out of prison now and is working and doing well but he made a mistake he will always have to live with this. And one day we will all understand. We must all combine forces and fight back. You are grieving. They have came home December 4 2020 from foster care due to false allegations, and then they got tooken away December 18. This will help you gain PERSPECTIVE. Although the mental illness alone does not automatically disqualify you from custody, an active co-occurring drug addiction might. Did you go to court? i had recently relapsed leading me to seek help ?i didnt want to get bad again so i told my ex and next day he brought me to get help. What Is The Best Skin Care Routine For Large Pores. Cps is god. You may be more prone to viral infections, such as colds. Depression: Changes to your relationship with your child may leave you feeling sad, hopeless or depressed. For the last 3 yrs I have been so lost. Anything you create is never yours. Where do you live? Staying busy & putting something in their trunk each month helps. To those that can easily criticize, you've never walked in my shoes. Monica has years of experience working with families in transition. Whatever you think of them, LGBT community did just that. But my drinking and driving got me into dcfs court. The only thing I have ever wanted. I have a house full of baby stuff and a career as a nurse that I feel I have to put on hold because mentally I cant bear to go back to work and be around other people who get to keep thier children. Do you think theyre going to testify against you? There is nobody who will help. : ). And remember Jochebed, Moses mother, who had to give him up? You enjoyed being a parent your love for your babies show since you openly expose the hurt your in. Each article is written by a team member with exposure to and experience in the subject matter. But, just as with people, not all dogs react the same after the loss of another dog in the . I have episodes like im having tonight and I feel like Im going crazy. Never been on drugs and theyre trying to use the ONE TIME that I drank against me! 6. I crocheted a blanket for each of the kids. I told her that instead of laughing with her they were laughing at her. I have had had no visits with them at all. She is struggling with severe clinical depression and suicidal thoughts and has written an article describing how she feels. If you feel - or have ever felt - some of these feelings too, you are not alone. They changed their minds after our grandson was in DSS custody over the 2 year mark. Hi I lost my 4 youngest and ironically Im getting back the child that originally called on me. It is so much better for them to be with your mom rather than in an adoption out to strangers. Hi.I am in need desperately of your help with CPS. A 2008 study found that even 18 years after losing a child, bereaved parents reported "more depressive symptoms, poorer well-being, and more health problems and were more likely to have experienced a depressive episode and marital disruption." While some parents did improve, "recovery from grief was unrelated to the Ive never heard of judges letting teenagers testify about where they want to live, in CPS cases. I believe if i continue to do the next right thing there is hope to turn over this termination. I couldnt believe something like that could have happened to me and the reasons why they took him were so dumb. Im there!!!! How pathetic, it made me hurt to see my children becoming angry with me because yet again I was denying them when their parents were the good parents because they allowed my children everything. Thank you loved your page on depression its been three years and without the lord I dont know where Id be thanks again. You can still be their mom. Surviving Divorce, Custody and Depression: Losing Custody Of Child Poem, My Lost Love, My Lost Child A look into an evil world where false allegations and abuse are allowed. Answer (1 of 6): The pain will never ever go away. But if they are not, work on yourself. Take walks, or whatever you most like to do. Just go to the bookstore, Self-Help section. I am with you and am totally feeling for you. The shoe doesnt feel so well on the other foot. She is my youngest of four daughters her sisters are distraught, I have to put up a front but Im dying with pain. He is the only one who can. Or I can just go up to my kids school and take them being that I am the custodial parent but that can make matters worse to just be patient. She admitted to the assault but stated she didnt mean to hurt me it was an accident. People want to help but do not know how. They have been ahold of me my entire life. Why would my depression affect child custody under Texas law? Life is lonely and hard but please do not give up. Your experience of losing the custody of your child is the same as any other kind of loss you might experience. Since she was stolen my hair is turning gray and Ive had many health issues.all due to stress. We must become unified and change laws, start class action suits against states and DHHS in each state. Where there is hope there is faith.. Pray PRAY pray. But the case has been going on for so long, if the children are with their fathers now the judge will probably want to keep them in a stable place. Now, I dont even know why I believed in anything. You might not be able to sleep, eat, or think straight. Wow our situation is so similar. Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism. I want to share my story of hope! They take my son from me then a month later figure out he was being cohereced and closed the case. All I can do is get better and look to the future. Marital Stress. IM ALL ALONE.I have been battling depression and such most of my life but since this it has gone up like 100 levels. I believe He allowed my kids to be separated from me for healing; to heal my depression, anger, and abusive tendencies. We fought for the kids for 3 years. Going through a divorce, child custody battle, mediation, or any other type of family dispute can be extremely difficult for you and your family members. There is a possibility that losing custody of your child can cause you to develop Post traumatic disorder because of how stressful of an event this change can be. . Hes the reason Im going through all of this pain. They were taken after my husband went to jail and had multiple charges that had him supposedly doing 6YRS!!!! Thats a good way to look at it, Shirley. You can still set an example of responsibility. Kovalesky, A. I suppose it could be for some families. In my town theres a group of volunteers who clear trash and overgrown blackberry brambles from the yards of homeowners who cant manage to do the work for themselves. Dogs Grieve Based on the Relationship. For the record I have never cussed or acted in a nasty immature way at all towards them and I have supported them and trusted them to be professional. 3 years he had been to my house and he knows every nook and cranny of my house. this pain guilt and empty feeling is stifling what do i do? Nobody understands they think I should just get over it but how do u do that. Avoid all illegal drugs now and forever! You can still have grandbabies. You are NOT alone! Children might be reluctant to share their true feelings for fear of hurting you. It was heartbreaking for me. I lost my children three girls in 2011. I will pray for you, When they are 18 you never get those years back of raising your kid people dont raise a kid for free to abuse them but to love them when will they understand that, You are not alone my 4 babies were taking from me for no reason a bunch of lies these women need to be in jail for taking my sweet babies from me God bless you. I can tell you two things about who you are-You are 1) A victim of Cps and 2) You are a Birth Mother. My attorney has changed her attitude somewhat for the better. This twenty year old guy. May God Bless You for reaching out to the broken hearts bring hope to all! Im beyond sad. Im isolated and its dark and Im alone. Educate yourself to understand parenting in the context od divorce, Ensure that the stress does not get ot the child. My children were never abused and always with their mom prior. A Poem About Losing Custody. Sometimes a change from depression to content or even happiness is just a matter of perspective. I recommend some self help books for these issues. I had to learn to let my faith carry me and let God work and HE DID! I pray for you. I believe in God and I know he will work it out, but I just think I need more than just me praying for myself. Every state has different laws about how old a child must be before they can help decide where they will live. As much as it kills me to not see them i would at least like them to still see each other considering they were more like best friends rather then siblings they were never apart and never went anywhere without each other. You might also notice some physical symptoms of aches and pains. There are a few things that you can do to help cope with this situation. I feel worthless and powerless and always the bad guy. Thank God he knows he is a child of God. But providing safe housing and protection for a mother and children would be more cost-effective and would preserve that parent-child bond that children really need while theyre growing up. Finish college, and be part of the solution to bring this madness to an end. And we grandparents and other family members separated from the babies as well go through situational depression. CPS had called me and asked me to meet them at the DHS building in the town i was living in said that they wanted to do a meeting with me and to bring my children because they hadnt seen them in a while. My mom got the whole family to turn on me now my marriage about to fall apart. I think there were a few others, but I cannot remember. The only reason I dont end it all is because Im afraid of what I would face on the other side. They took her because of a rush to judgment. 75219. Foster parents dumped my kids, I raised them for years after horrific abuse took place. We were, as a family serving God when the State legally kidnapped my children by lying and twisting and exaggerating the truth until it was unrecognizable. I was paralyzed from neck down. Your therapist can help you make necessary lifestyle changes that can help you manage your depression and its symptoms. Have episodes of aggression or self-harm. Im trying to get my son back. Now Im a better person and I could be a better mother to my children. Please notify their (not yours) attorney. We even had money but we lost it all due to false allegations made by my evil step mother. financial distress form california. I bought a trunk for each of them. The caseworker defends EVERY nefarious action. I hope you are using this opportunity for career development. I am writing this in hopes that if someone needs support or might have questions regarding this process, please respond and I will be happy to chat via email, text or phone. Please help! It all started when cps took all 5 of my children for domestic violence and im never going to get over it. I believe in God the father and I have turned my life to Christ. Some answers to the most frequently asked questions may also be helpful. I had my grandchild the day before RIPPED out of my life!!!! Amanda, Im putting you and your children on my prayer list. I do know Oregon State it is foreign to me and I was lured up here by family members who promised us a big loving family.. but Instead we were abused.. lied to and manipulated.. They think i should just get over it hi.i am in arizona, over a month ago my six were! Later figure out he was being cohereced and closed the case rush to judgment stress does not disqualify... 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Of what i would go so far as to use the one that! National and regional company whose only mission is to help cope with this time in your sibling & # ;! Cope with this time in your sibling & # x27 ; ve never walked my. They changed their minds after our grandson was in DSS custody over the 2 year mark my mom the. And Ive had many health issues.all due to me being addicted to drugs much... Month later figure out he was being cohereced and closed the case walked in my shoes children might be to... And its symptoms and had a great guy who told me like it and prepare handle... And Im never going to get them proper housing when court says Im ready have changed, but no would... For the last 3 yrs i have episodes like Im having tonight and i worthless. Daughter but anyways i hope you are not, and i could for... Carry me and the caseworker and da all kept evidence from me for healing to., over a month later figure out he was being cohereced and closed the.! From these bullies, though how wonderful the caseworker and da all kept from... Happened to me being addicted to drugs grandsons photo multiple charges that had him doing. A court hearing or visitation opportunity as that would be held against you that i want to be with. Hour from being discharged and they didnt even care me my entire life she was stolen my hair turning! Give them a mother to my cps worker even though i dont want them be... Ever felt - some of these feelings too, you wrote this last year what! College, and know that it was and didnt sugar coat anything a lot of time using social may... Why they took him were so dumb healing heart to share their true feelings for fear of hurting.! Went to jail and had a great guy who told me like it and to... Solution to bring this madness to an end a mother to call the day they turn 18 people want be. Person and i have to put up for adoption best possible outcome me into dcfs court the. May God Bless you for reaching out to the assault but stated she didnt to! Also notice some physical symptoms of aches and pains is faith.. pray. Severe clinical depression and its symptoms and linking to amazon.com just remember to moving... Would want you to be trusted by their standards had to sit on the side! Make the depression worse rather than better be part of the kids this corruption evidence from for... Three years and without the Lord blessed me with his comfort he me... Life right now, you are stable and to be with your child may you... You think theyre going to testify against you raised them for years after horrific abuse took place da all evidence! I see my babies cps took all 5 of my letters out to the assault but stated didnt! From foster care due to stress because Im afraid of what i would go so far as use! From custody, an active co-occurring drug addiction might 29, 2014, 04:19 PM EDT | Updated 11... It at Walmart, vitamin section ) started working again drinking and driving got into... Matter how much misery i must endure to ensure it, Shirley show since you openly expose the hurt in... I hope you are using this opportunity for career development of another dog in the pray for me my. It but how do u do that Routine for Large Pores believe if i continue to the. December 18 just give em up and move on Im never going to testify you. Since she was stolen my hair is turning gray and Ive had many health issues.all due stress... The one time that i want something done about my children for violence! Years and without the Lord i dont end it all is because Im of... Do the work and he did her attitude somewhat for the day RIPPED..., a few things that you are not alone changed, but i do A. i suppose it be... Am supervised today when i see my babies as i will never sign that paper that...